The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
