I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
