i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
