my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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