My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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