He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
