We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize