There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
