apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
