White coat. Heels.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Houston, we have a blender
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize