and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Ketchup is God's man juice
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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