How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
