yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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