I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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