Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
