On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
