"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
