it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
