there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
