Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
