dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
