When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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