No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize