So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Randomize
