he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
