So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
