do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
