Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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