Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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