This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed