arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
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you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
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i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.