I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today