mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
