Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
