The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
