Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We talked him into tasing himself.
I need moral support for this bender
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize