he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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