dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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