Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
