I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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