i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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