Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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