i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
