did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
i now understand why vodka
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
