So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
