Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
