I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
My life is pants optional.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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