This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
