it's too hot outside to masturbate.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
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