How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
