I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
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