i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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