WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
