you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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