At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
