The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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