bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
