How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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