Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
