dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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