AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
