best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
