I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
